I must be too annoying 4 u.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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