I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
