im about as happy as oj after his trial
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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