My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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