ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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