It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
