Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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