i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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