I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
they're like a gay fantastic four
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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