Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
