sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I smell like Dick and happiness
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