i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the condom got lost in my hair
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
