I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
