ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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