I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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