Sponge bath it is.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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