You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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