he told me I talked like a deaf person
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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