Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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