the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
