I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
