I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
