glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
