I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
