Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
