Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
