Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
