Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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