I think I just saw someone hide a body.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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