That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
