so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
