Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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