I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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