Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
