She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
