you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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