I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
