So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
