Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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