You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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