I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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