dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
