the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
did i just pee glitter
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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