Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I look better un-naked...
Welp...herpes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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