i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
