I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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