Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
