Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
