It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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