areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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